Padi - Kasih Tak Sampai

Indah
Terasa indah
Bila kita berdua
Dalam alunan cinta
Sedapat mungkin terciptakan rasa
Keinginan saling memiliki

Namun bila
Itu semua
Dapat terwujud dalam satu ikatan cinta
Tak semudah seperti yang pernah terbayang
Menyatukan perasaan ini

Tetaplah menjadi bintang di langit
Agar cinta kita akan abadi
Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini
Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita
Berdua
Berdua

Sudah
Lambat sudah
Kini semua harus berakhir
Mungkin inilah jalan yang terbaik
Dan kita mesti relakan kenyataan ini

Tetaplah menjadi bintang di langit
Agar cinta kita akan abadi
Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini
Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita
Berdua
Berduaaa

Menjadi saksi kita
Berdua



i just wanted a good ending
even if we're not meant to be together
but for now, takpe lah
i will tahan for him
i wont leave us until a happy ending
walaupun i will be in much pain,
its gonna be a tough road.
please come back to yourself soon my love



.

14feb2016

haritu aku jumpa dia
on vday
i cant stand the thought that he's gonna spend the day w her
sebab selama 5tahun dia dengan aku
and aku takde date lain selain dia selama hidup aku ni
so aku pergi jumpa dia

and bla bla bla


it was truly heaven and hell all together that weekend


my mom cried of my addictions to drugs. hmm.


and him, dia dah berubah
now 4 days after i met him
he's totally diff person
with nothing to live for
he's not the man i used to know
far worst, he's not the man he himself is
his drug addiction is far worse
thats all he thinks about
he might quit his job soon
that workaholic man i used to know giving up on his job
hes giving up on his life
that makes me so sad
why? what happened?
oh, ME happen :(

ni memang babi
aku punca
everything i have, or ever do,
was such a wreckage and despair
aku takdela sampai nak mati
tapi perasaan ni, berat sangat
dah aku nak tanggung rasa aku, sekarang aku nak kena hidup my whole life knowing im at fault for what his become
wow.

please show me the way God
please
please
it hurts so much! SAKIT! SEPI! KOSONG!
save me, save him.
aku harap memang aku ended up dgn dia
dia yang aku sayang sangat
dia yang aku cinta
tapi if not
tunjuk kami jalan keluar
kalau selamanya aku macam ni
bila aku nak berbakti dekat keluarga aku?

sesungguhnya, Kau yang maha mengetahui, jadi tolong.



.

tau tak apa aku rasa sekarang ni?
aku rasa terlampau kosong
terlampau-lampau kosong
aku betul-betul nak menangis tapi tak dapat menangis
sebab memang dah takde apa
kosong.


kenapa seksa aku macam ni Tuhan?



.

I fell in love with someone i would've died for, the hardest most painful thing was walking away still madly on love with him.

So, its been 6 month since my breakup with him
and i still find myself thinking about him all the time,
constantly every moment
like when i wake up, when im showering, when im walking down the street, going to class, when i eat, when i go somewhere we used to go, or somewhere we've never been, and especially when listening to songs, like any song is relatable

and by that, i feel very lonely, very alone, i feel isolated
theres no one's with me in my world
there used to be you and i miss that :(
this feeling is taunting and agonizing
it hurts so much!!! :'(

and being me, not being able to express myself
*im really bad with words and expressing my feelings :(
make it more wounding

i figured out whats hurting me the most
its the fact that you never mourn for our split
you just straight away moved on with another love you can find
i feel like you deceived me all these time
i always question myself,
did you ever really loved me that much?

but i know you did
i know, i believe you really had loved me
its your action for the past 5 years

but doesnt it hurt when we breakup?
DOESNT IT?
if u ever did really loved me why doesnt it hurts you?
i dont get it
how could you throw away all that feeling you had for me and love another girl?
it took you less than a month! why?
and i see the way you treated her
i read everything
you treated her better than me
you seems really happy with her
all the sweet things you did for her,
the way you show her to the world,
all the compliment.
hmm

dont get me wrong
i do want you to be happy
i do want you to find other love better than me
but at least, take your time
its just not fair for me

idk. maybe it makes sense why we breakup in the first place.

still, on the 6th month
it hurts.



.

Emile Haynie - Falling Apart

Last Halloween when the devil grinned
The tattoos on your skin covered up your skin
Scarred from the sin and those sleepless night
Trying to fight a fight you cant win

So you chased him, traded that good life
Only got yourself another good night
Until the morning darling
When you're back right to
Falling apart

Falling apart, you know you're falling apart
Just another little lonely broken heart
How did it get so cold
(you'll never know, you'll never know)
How did you get so cold

Life is short and you're no longer young enough
To throw around your body for a little fun
Put another photo, spend my cash
Put another photo, have a blast

Now it's gone and i'm dark and your heart is still crawling
It heals, since you kneel
And at baggage claim bawling till the morning darling
And you're right back to falling

Falling apart, you know you're falling apart
Just another little lonely broken heart
How did it get so cold
(you'll never know, you'll never know)
How did you get so cold

You slip away into the morning sun
When he touches your face and your day's begun
I know you hate yourself for what, what you've done
So you push it away, it's getting harder to run

When you run so fast and you run so long
And it's all your fault cause you were never strong
It's not much of a life though darling
It's not much of a life (life)

When you're falling apart
Falling apart, you know you're falling apart
Just another little lonely broken heart
How did it get so cold
(you'll never know, you'll never know)
How did you get so cold

Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh
You never been nothing, baby
You never been nothing, baby
Falling apart, you know you're falling apart
Just another little lonely broken heart
How did it get so cold
How did you get so cold

Falling apart, you know you're falling apart
Just another little lonely broken heart
How did it get so cold
How did you get so cold


.

Tentang Seseorang

terutukmu hatiku, dinginku bersuara
merangkai semua tanya
imagi yang terlintas
berjalan pada satu
tanya selalu mengganguku
seseorang itukah dirimu kasih

kepada yang tecinta inginku mengeluh
semua resah di diri mencari jawab pasti
akankah seseorang yang diinginkan hadir?
raut halus menyelimuti jantungku

cinta adalah cinta. hidup dan matiku untukmu
mungkinkah semua tanya kau yang jawab
dan tentang seseorang itu pula dirimu
ku bersumpah akan mencinta



dear love, cepat datang ye
saya tunggu awak for our adventure together #hope


.

Al-Fatihah

"Kematian itu sememangnya mengejutkan. Mendukakan. Memisahkan seorang insan. Menjarakkan antara dunia dan akhirat. Melukakan perasaan. Menambat kepiluan. Ia adalah hakikat sebuah permulaan di mana penghujungnya adalah pengakhiran. Itu janji Allah kepada kita"

i can never say enough to express my deepest condolence :(
you will be miss, Tunku Jalil.

5 July 1990 - 5 December 2015


.